


everything she'd never wanted (and everything she had)

by regina_milfs



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Ok there definitely is, Sex, Smut, Sorry Not Sorry, Twitter, swanqueen - Freeform, there may or may not be hot desk sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 04:14:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7153082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regina_milfs/pseuds/regina_milfs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina and Emma have been working together to try and defeat the Evil Queen. </p><p>They're starting to get frustrated with each other and Emma is starting to get on Regina's last nerve; so she has to remember the good things. </p><p>It's only then that Regina realizes that Emma is everything she'd never wanted – and everything she had <i>ever</i> wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	everything she'd never wanted (and everything she had)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lpreferapple on Twitter](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lpreferapple+on+Twitter), [deceptivelycomplex3925](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deceptivelycomplex3925/gifts).



> Hey guys! I'm back. So I know I shouldn't be starting anything with you guys anxiously awaiting the update for "little darlin' with the devil's smile," but oh well. What can I say? Inspiration struck. So I wrote. 
> 
> Unfortunately, I'm experiencing some major writers block for ldwtds, but I'm working on getting the second chapter up! 
> 
> So this was inspired by a thread on Twitter written by @lpreferapple, so go follow her!
> 
> A lot of the dialogue is from her, I just added a lot (including all the smut, because she's a devil and stopped at "fuck me"). 
> 
> This is also dedicated to deceptivelycomplex3925, my muse. Go read her fics if you want to cry yourself to sleep tonight. 
> 
> Anyways! 
> 
> Onward with the story! I hope you all enjoy.

They have been searching for days on end, trying to find ways to defeat the Evil Queen. Both women know that even though Regina has changed, she has never completely defeated the other half of her. They both assumed that she had gotten rid of her when she'd crushed her heart and let the dust run through her fingers like beach sand, but they were wrong.

No matter what anyone told Regina, she always knew she'd never _truly_ rid herself of the Queen. The broken woman was so much a part of her she wasn't quite sure who she'd be _without_ her. She was afraid she'd lose her fierce protectiveness, the almost palpable fire in her eyes, and everything that drove her to be better.

But then she remembered.

It wasn't her past mistakes as the Evil Queen – all the innocent people she'd murdered, all the towns she'd set ablaze, all the people she'd stepped on just to get to the top (just like her mother) – that made her strive to be better, that made her strive to be _more_.

It was Henry.

 _And Emma_.

She would never admit it out loud (and often would never admit it to _herself_ ), but Emma Swan was one of the major reasons that Regina was better.

 _Slightly less broken_.

In those first few years, when they absolutely loathed each other, Emma Swan pushed her buttons and drove her to her limits, but she gave her a challenge, something the mayor hadn't had in years.

She remembers how'd they'd gone from fierce eyes and ' _no, he's my son_!' to soft smiles and ' _everyone deserves a happy ending. Even_ you.'

She remembers a challenge reflecting in green eyes and ' _you have_ no _idea what I'm capable of_ ' and tears welling in those same beautiful eyes and ' _you've worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed_!'

A basket of apples meant as a warning that turned into a mayor ogling a pants-less birth mother and teasing smirks; an apple turnover meant to be a threat that turned into a near-death experience and a bruised back from being slammed against a shelf.

She remembers back-and-forth and push-and-pull (she always pushed, never pulled) and fight-and-flight.

Even after all the pain she endured, trying to convince Henry that she wasn't who he thought she was, trying to get him to _understand_ , even after all the ' _I hate you_!'s and the ' _you're evil_!'s and all the times Henry tried to run away (and the one time he _had_ ), she wouldn't trade it for the world. Because after all of that pain and torture and constant thoughts of ' _is he going to love me today or hate me_?', after all that mess and all the tears and sleepless nights, she found something beautiful in all of the chaos.

 _Emma_.

Emma who was fierce in her protectiveness of the former evil queen and in her love for her son – _their_ son – and Emma who was forced to be someone she didn't want to be and Emma who was broken and Emma who a mix of everything Regina had never wanted all put together (and everything she _had_ ever wanted) but Emma who was also _beautiful_.

Emma who is currently pushing all of her buttons and angering her to no end.

She is stressed because she wants to finally get rid of her other half (even though she'd always felt some sort of self-pitying love for the other woman) and she's stressed because Emma is not helping and she's stressed because her ' _soulmate_ ' is dead and Emma's boyfriend gets to live and she is stressed because she just doesn't _know_.

She doesn't know where she stands with Snow or Henry or Emma or anyone these days, really.

"Emma, just leave," Regina says, filtering trough the hundreds of papers on her desk.

"Regina, we need to find answers," Emma insists. "Just be quiet and cooperate with me."

"EMMA SWAN! I said _leave_!"

"STOP SCREAMING AT ME, GINA!"

The brunette looks up at her with fire blazing in her eyes and her bottom lip wobbling (she falters at the nickname that Emma has only ever called her once before) and Emma is taken aback, but she doesn't run away. She stands up and takes a step towards Regina and reaches for her hands (she's always pull, never push).

They both watch each other warily, eyes searching and lips wanting, but they're interrupted by the shrill ringing of Emma's phone.

"It's been four times now," Regina says as she retracts her hands from Emma's, and the blonde sits back down in her seat across from Regina. She returns to the papers on her desk and nearly misses Emma's rejected expression ( _nearly_ ). "Get the pirate under control or leave. I don't _need_ you."

Emma's expression immediately changes and now she's all sharp jaw and piercing eyes and she kind of looks crazy but she's kind of fed up.

"Oh my god, Regina! Stop being a–"

" _Excuse me_?!" The fierce mayor demands, slamming the book she holds down on the desk and stands.

"You've been extremely bitchy since we found out that the queen is still here... it's not everyone else's fault, okay?"

"So it's _mine_?" Regina scoffs incredulously.

"No, it's _no ones_." Emma says it in that rough voice that Regina knows all too well (' _you nearly killed our son_!); she has pushed Emma over the edge.

"The _queen_ isn't my problem," Regina says, making her way towards the door. She opens it slightly and motions for Emma to leave but the blonde is quicker and she slams it shut with Regina's body, her front flush against the mayor's back.

"Turn around," Emma whispers in Regina's ear, and the brunette's eyes flutter closed. She turns around.

She looks at Emma with eyes full of hurt and anger and it makes Emma's own anger dissolve into almost nothing as she stares into the eyes of her best friend, the woman she'd hated and now loves more than anything.

"What's the problem, Gina?" She takes a step back because she's supposed to be angry, but Regina's smell is too intoxicating and her eyes are too searching and her lips are too wanting.

" _You_ are," Regina breathes, and Emma's heard that tone before (' _Emma_ , no.' ' _You've worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed_!').

"You and that _pirate_ ," she spits the latter out with so much malice that Emma's surprised the brunette isn't coughing from the taste of it on her tongue. " _That_ is my problem."

Regina tries to walk past Emma but the blonde apparently reads her mind, because she steps in front of her and doesn't let her pass.

" _Why_?" The blonde asks, determination shining in those eyes and her lips pressed into a thin line.

"Don't pretend like you don't _know_ , Emma. Not after New York." Regina's voice breaks and Emma couldn't forget because the moment has been etched into her brain since the second Regina looked into her eyes.

" _Emma?" Regina whispers into the darkness of the hotel room, hoping that the blonde is awake but secretly hoping she isn't._

 _"Is everything alright?" Emma asks, and Regina had thought the blonde didn't hear the crack in her voice but she_ had _. "Are you okay?"_

_She turns over and now she's facing Regina and the brunette sits up as she sniffles and wipes away her tears._

_"Regina."_

_Emma sits up too and Regina reverts her eyes as she stares out the window._

_"I'm so glad I found you, Emma," she whispers. "That_ Henry _found you. I can't do any of this alone."_

_"Regina, you–"_

_"No, I'm serious. No one believed in me, but_ you _did. When no one – even_ myself _– doubted that I could come back from all my past mistakes, my demons, you were there by my side the entire time and helped me through every second of it. I hated you at first because I thought you were going to steal Henry from me and I couldn't bare that, even the thought of sharing him boiled my blood, but now..." She chuckles softly. "I've never been happier, and–"_

_"I love you."_

_Regina's about to reply but Emma lifts her hands up to her face and kisses her softly and Regina can't think of any words she could possibly say._

Emma remembers the night vividly, the lingering feeling of Regina's lips pressed into her own tainted by the gut-stabbing remembrance of rejection, and now that Regina has brought it up her legs feel like jello and her heart is pounding and her hands are sweating.

" _Emma, I..._ Robin." _She pulls away from the blonde and her fingertips brush against her lips, trying to wipe away the feeling of Emma's lips on her own._

 _She can't (she_ never _will)._

_"Killian," she says._

_"Right." Emma scoots away from Regina and offers her a sad smile as she turns over in the bed and faces away from Regina. "My bad."_

_"Emma–"_

_"It's cool, I get it. You don't feel anything for me." Emma rolls over, looking at Regina and says, "Tell me you don't feel anything for me."_

_"I don't have any feelings for you," Regina says (she_ does _)._

_Emma nods and rolls back over, "Goodnight, Regina."_

Regina moves to open the door but Emma presses her against it again.

"I thought that didn't mean anything," Emma whispers, eyes intent on Regina's burning ones. "I thought you didn't feel anything when I kissed you."

Regina's caramel orbs (now almost entirely black) flicker down to Emma's lips and then back to the blonde's eyes with desire and longing shining in them.

"Yes, well," Regina starts, hands lifting up to take Emma's face into them. "I lied."

Emma remembers ' _I tried to be the person that you wanted me to be and I failed but I won't let you be alone_.'

 

She presses their lips together and it's that night in New York all over again, and Emma's afraid of rejection and ' _I don't have any feelings for you_ ,' but she kisses Regina back despite all of her doubts. She kisses her like she's been in love with her for years and that she will always be in love with her (she has and she _will_ ).

Regina's tongue swipes against Emma's bottom lip and Emma groans, deepening the kiss and pressing Regina further into the door.

Regina curls her leg around Emma's waist as the blonde's hands come to rest on her hips, and Regina pulls her closer to her center.

"Gina," Emma moans, her hand trailing down Regina's thigh and cupping her backside. Regina groans and her hips involuntarily buck against Emma's, one of the blonde's hands coming to Regina's hair.

"Oh, Emma..." Regina starts, but Emma silences her with her lips, needing to taste Regina again. "What about–"

"I left him, Regina."

When Emma pulls away she's panting and Regina is staring at her with wide, frenzied eyes, and her eyebrows furrow. Their chests are coming together and apart in an even rhythm and Emma's hand is still on Regina's hip and her other is now on her cheek and Regina's leg is still wrapped around Emma's waist, but they just stare at each other breathlessly.

"You did?" Regina whispers, and Emma can barely hear it.

"I left him weeks ago, when you crushed the evil queen's heart and made me share a bed with you that night. When I held your sobbing body against mine all night long and kissed your forehead and told you that you'd find your happiness... I broke up with him the next day." Emma shakes her head, laughing wetly. "Regina, it's _you_. It's _always_ been you. I tried to tell you, but you–"

"Just kiss me."

Emma chuckles at Regina's eagerness and kisses her softly, smiling down at the brunette in all of her flushed-cheeks and mussed-hair glory.

"I do love you, you know?" Emma says, knocking the breath out of Regina with tbe sincerity and adoration shining in her eyes.

"You _do_? Truly?" Regina gasps out, and Emma's heart clenches because Regina's face and her tone of voice tell Emma that she hasn't been told that near enough. That she doesn't understand her worth and that she probably never _will_. That she doesn't know how many people love her and adore her despite everything.

"I do," Emma says breathlessly. "And I'll spend every day telling you that I do if that's what it takes for you to understand your worth." Emma bites her lip nervously, eyes flickering between Regina's as she contemplates her next words.

"I would love to show you, if you'll allow it."

And _oh_ , Emma shouldn't have said that, because Regina's teary, beautiful smile turns into something more seductive, something almost _primal_. A smile she's seen only a few times before (' _I didn't come for dinner_ ,' ' _then what did you come for_?' ' _You_ ' and ' _you have no idea what I am capable of_ ' and ' _I don't have any feelings for you_ ').

"I love you too."

Only Regina can make that sound so enticing and innocent and sincere yet so sexual and primal and arousing at the same time.

Emma kisses her again just because she can.

"As for you showing me just how much you love me, _Miss Swan_..." And Emma's legs are already wobbly and her stomach is already clenching and she's already _so_ turned on, and Regina hasn't called her that in ages, and _fuck_. "There is a perfectly fine desk right behind you."

Emma turns around to glance at the desk with a raised eyebrow and turns back to the grinning mayor with a curious expression on her face.

"Yeah?" She asks.

"Yes." Regina smirks. " _Use_ it."

Emma places her hands on the underside of Regina's thighs and effortlessly lifts her up and the mayor yelps in surprise. She walks them across the room and places Regina on the desk.

"Anything else, Madame Mayor?" Emma smirks, and Regina's eyes flicker purple and Emma clenches her thighs as Regina's wraps her own tighter around Emma's body.

"Actually, yes, Miss Swan..." Regina purrs, and Emma's eyebrow raises. "Fuck me."

Emma groans and fuses their mouths together, her tongue slipping into the brunette's mouth without even giving her time to kiss back. Regina bites down on the blonde's bottom lip and _Jesus_ , the woman _really_ knows how to kiss.

Emma hands don't hesitate to explore Regina's body before they're already ripping open her blouse, one hand attacking a plump breast covered by lace as her mouth retracts from Regina's and moves down a slick, sweat-coated neck, prominent collarbones, and onto a smooth breast. She's biting and nibbling and Regina is gasping and moaning and she swears Emma has more than two hands and one mouth.

One hand moves to hike her skirt up to her hips and Regina moves from one hip to the other as she maneuvers her soaked panties off and throws them on the floor. Emma buries her face between Regina's olive thighs and her tongue darts out to flick against soft flesh. Regina's back arches and her mouth falls open in a silent scream as she falls against the desk. She's laying across it now, and as Emma continues her ministrations with her tongue and her hands move to caress thighs and then up to plump breasts, her hands knock everything off of the desk (including her computer).

She's moaning and panting and groaning and she probably sounds like she's being murdered, but _fuck_ , her mind is hazy and she can't take deep breaths.

"Madame Mayor?" There's a knock on her door and Regina's eyes fly open and her hands are grasping onto the edges of the desk with such force that her knuckles are white, and she bites her bottom lip. "Are you alright?"

She recognizes the voice as her assistant, Sarah, and she curses the girl's constant, self-inflicted desire to protect the mayor.

"Yes," Regina says, her voice strained, and she doesn't sound convincing at all.

"Are you sure? Do I need to come in or call Sheriff Swan to come help?"

"No!" Regina shrieks when she hears the doorknob wobbling. She flicks her wrist and she's barely able to conjure up enough magic to lock the door. "I'm fine!"

"Alright..."

She hears Sarah retreating and she feels more than hears Emma chuckle against her wet center, and she whimpers and arches her back and her eyes squeeze shut.

" _Fuck_ , Emma."

"'Call Sheriff Swan,'" Emma smiles. "Right. 'Hey, Sheriff. Mayor Mills is making weird noises in her office. You might need to come check on her.' 'I know, Sarah. I'm the _cause_ of the noises.' ' _Oh_.'"

"Shut up and f– _uuuuuck, Em-ma_ ," she hisses as the blonde gropes her breast roughly.

The blonde gives one last languid flick of her tongue before Regina's back is arching painfully and her nails are digging into the desk and she bites her bottom lip and squeezes her eyes shut.

She collapses against the desk, spent, and the side of the desk splinters beneath her hands and she tastes blood and when Emma comes up, a satisfied smirk on her face, she chuckles.

"You've ruined your shirt."

Regina looks down and realizes that sometime throughout the entire thing, she had been grasping onto her shirt for dear life and ripped it in several places.

" _You_ ruined it first," Regina defends. "I only finished the job. Now let me finish my _other_ job." She moves to get off the desk but Emma tsks her tongue and pushes her down onto the surface again as she snaps her fingers and the mayor is completely naked.

"Uh, uh," Emma says. "I'm not done showing you just how much I love you."

And show her, she does.

Time and time again. On the desk, the couch, the floor, against the door, in her desk chair, and every other surface in Regina's office.

Man, Emma _really_ loves her.

She hopes Regina loves her more (they still have all the surfaces in Regina's house _and_ Emma's parents house).

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what y'all think and be sure and leave a review!


End file.
